Oh, look. Holtby’s mask came off during play again. This is fine. I am fine.
I’ll get to the Penguins-Capitals game, and the debut of Mike Sullivan, and Oshie’s big performance and everything, but first: it happened again. Braden Holtby’s mask came off again. I’m not making too big a deal about this. This is literally a disaster in the making and no one is freaking out enough in my judgment.
But let’s talk about the scoring first.
Nick Backstrom scored early on, snatching a pass from Oshie to beat Marc-Andre Fleury up the gut. Three minutes later, John Carlson took his own rebound and turned it into a two-goal lead, which the Penguins began eroding with Evgeni Malkin’s tip-in through traffic. TJ Oshie put the Pens back in the two-goal hole where they belong with a dandy wraparound in the third period. The Penguins got busted late in the game for having cranky pants, so TJ Oshie got another goal. Woo!
Caps beat Pens 4-1. 21 wins and counting.
- Justin Williams did it again, that incorrigible so-and-so. Midway through the game, that ol’ softy Marcus Johansson put the puck on net. Williams was doing the right thing in principle by crashing the net, but he made contact (I suppose) with Fleury, so his subsequent goal was washed out. That makes three disallowed goals this season because of Williams’ naughtiness.
- Taylor (?) Chorney fought Nick Bonino late in the second period. Chorney got the facepunches, but Bonino got the takedown. People seem to cheer more for the latter than the former these days. Odd. Overall, this was a testy game, which makes it even more surprising that Tom Wilson didn’t do anything bulletworthy. He almost had an empty-netter, which is okay I guess.
- Beau Bennett did not return to the game after this mondo hit by TJ Oshie. Hitting is a very underrated part of Oshie’s game. Less underrated is Oshie’s scoring, which we saw in all its glory tonight with that impressive wraparound and the late-game power-play goal. Ten down, 20 to go. Patrick.
- I have two bullets on Braden Holtby tonight, and this is the first. I will be using all caps for the rest of this bullet, so prepare yourself. WHY DOES BRADEN HOLTBY’S MASK KEEP COMING OFF DURING GAMES? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING? IS IT NOT ABUNDANTLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ON THE PLANET THAT WE ARE COURTING DISASTER HERE? IS THERE ANY KIND OF ADHESIVE WE COULD TRY OR PERHAPS SOME NHL-RULEBOOK-COMPLIANT MECHANISM THAT INVOLVES ONE OF THOSE U-LOCKS YOU PUT ON BICYCLES? I AM AT THE EDGE OF MY SANITY HERE. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A 6.1 MILLION DOLLAR PLAYER WHO IS SINGLEHANDEDLY WINNING GAMES FOR THIS TEAM AND, OH YEAH, HE WAS NUMBER ONE ON OUR MAN-CRUSH MONDAY CAPITALS HOTNESS VOTING EXERCISE, WHICH, YES, I WILL ADMIT THAT IT WAS OBJECTIFYING, BUT I SUBMIT TO YOU THAT APPRECIATION OF THE PHYSICAL FORM NEED NOT BE A SHAMEFUL OR DEPREDATING ACT UNLESS IT IS DONE INEXTRICABLY WITH AN IMPLICIT OR EXPLICIT STRIPPING OF AGENCY OR PERSONAL IDENTITY FROM THAT OBJECT, VIS A VIS LAURA MULVEY’S SEMINAL 1975 ESSAY IN WHICH SHE COINED THE TERM MALE GAZE. THAT ESSAY HAS NOT AGED WELL IN ITS OVER-RELIANCE ON STALE FREUDIAN READINGS, BUT HER CONCEPT OF TOXIC SCOPOPHILIA HAS BEEN JUSTIFIABLY LASTING AND POTENT, ALTHOUGH NOT DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO THE RANKING CONTEST WHICH WAS WON BY BRADEN HOLTBY, WHOSE MASK NEEDS TO STOP COMING OFF DURING GAMES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
- The fourth line did not play much in this game.
- Back to Braden Holtby: The Capitals let the Penguins take shots like it was the whole team’s 21st birthday and there are no good role models. Don’t even look at the possession timeline. Don’t do it. Yikes. Holtby deserved to the game’s first star, the Palm Player of the Game, and whatever other mini-accolades you want. Pittsburgh didn’t make this easy on him.
- But I don’t want to make it seem like the Penguins were operating as designed. The Capitals were able to get behind the defense or to mount odd-man rushes maybe a dozen times, though often it was Jay Beagle and Jason Chimera making those attacks. Stan Galiev had a one-on-none in the first period, but Marc-Andre Fleury made a dazzling glove save to keep Stan goal-less this season. My point is that the Penguins defense is terri—
The #Pens have acquired defenseman Trevor Daley in exchange for Rob Scuderi. https://t.co/jRgcDwBcS6 pic.twitter.com/3aCBxiK3cu
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) December 15, 2015
- Wow. A mid-game trade. Trading Rob Scuderi, a scratch on Monday, is classic addition by subtraction. I wouldn’t be surprised if Daley is in the lineup right away. Also, no way Rutherford sticks around for free agency, right?
- The Penguins fell apart late with two penalties (Maatta and Malkin), which must make the new coach proud.
Joe B suit of the night
Well, that was a fun, end-to-end game with a bunch of highlights and big saves. Fans in attendance or watching on TV probably had a blast, which means the coaches are probably furious. The head coach is the natural enemy of the fun hockey (endangered status, currently can only be found in Dallas), so I imagine both teams will try to stop us from seeing a weird, 80-shot game like this again. Good while it lasted.
Also good: The Caps won again. Wow.
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