Like a pimply sixteen-year-old after a breakup at the back-to-school dance, goaltender Michal Neuvirth just can’t get over a past love. That past love happens to be the Washington Capitals.

“It was hard leaving Washington, for sure,” Neuvirth said to CSN Philadelphia’s Tim Panaccio Monday. “I have a lot of memories and lots of good friends there. I spent my best years in Washington in the NHL. I am always going to have feelings for the Capitals.”

(Emphasis added because I’m picturing a long-haired Neuvy scrawling Get Up Kids lyrics on his Trapper Keeper at Philly’s practice facility, moaning to himself about how he gave George McPhee his heart and McPhee gave him a pen. I’m picturing Neuvy driving to Kettler and blasting Peter Gabriel songs from a boombox while Ted Leonsis fitfully tries to go back to sleep. I’m picturing an emotional reconciliation some months later and Neuvirth, through tears, finally admitting to Holtby, “you were my greatest competition yet.” [And scene. Roll credits. Collect a billion dollars. Greenlight the sequel.])

The former Caps goaltender signed a two-year, $3.25 million deal with rival Philadelphia to serve as back-up to Steve Mason. But if you thought the reason Neuvy signed with the Flyers was to be geographically closer to Washington, you’d be wrong because that would be silly.

“I met Jake [Voracek] and we talked about things here and he said all good things about the Flyers,” Neuvirth said. “He wanted me to come here. I think it made him happy when I signed here. … He was the reason I signed here.”

“We’ve played together since we were 15 for the national team,” Neuvirth continued. “Jake is one of the best players in the NHL and the best player from the Czech Republic right now. So I’m very excited to be on the same team with him.”

And apparently still sad to not be on the Capitals.

But that’s okay, Neuvy. It’s not you. It’s us.