Tuesday morning, Capitals heartthob Brooks Laich announced his engagement to star Julianne Hough. Because the super-famous Hough is a triple threat (actress/singer/dancer) and on one of network TV’s biggest shows (Dancing With The Stars), nearly every news outlet in the world covered the proposal, including TMZ, ABC World News, and NBC Nightly News.

That’s cool and all, but anyone can post an Instagram photo and relay the news that a couple is engaged. I need hard-hitting analysis. I need deep, incisive journalism. I need Access Hollywood’s comprehensive coverage of the proposal– an entire segment dedicated to explaining who the heck Brooks Laich is.

Billy Bush, take me on a sports journey.

From Access Hollywood’s show Tuesday night:

I’m going to go ahead and transcribe this because a) they’re using Flash for the video so half of you can’t see this, and  b) it really needs to be written down and documented.

[Billy Bush in the Access Hollywood studio.]

Billy Bush: “He said the L word back in 2012. Julianne Hough’s heart belonged to Seacrest. But that relationship ended in March 2013. Julianne moved on and now the new love of her life has her saying, ‘YES’ today.”

[Bush narrates over photos. Happy music plays.]

“It’s up. She shoots. She scores. A joyful Julianne leg-locking her man, NHL star Brooks Laich, with engagement ring on full display. The 27-year-old Instagrammed the news with the caption, We are overwhelmed with joy and excitement to share with you our recent engagement! #fiance #love. Hough’s Canadian fiancé is 32-years-old and a forward for the Washington Capitals. He popped the question in Idaho where her grandparents live.”

[Happy music turns serious. Bush’s tone changes.]

“Julianne and Brooks were introduced in November 2013 by her co-star Teddy Sears from their upcoming movie Curve and began dating a month later. Some stats on the NHL stud. He’s 6’2”, 209 pounds. As for Julianne she’s 5’3”, 117.”

[Music turns happy again.]

“But can Brooks dance? We’re not sure yet. Julianne is no stranger to the ice rink. In December, the Utah-native strapped on some hockey skates and joined her man on practice at the NHL Bridgestone Winter Classic in Washington DC.”

[Back to Billy Bush in the studio.]

“And Brooks sure sounds like a great guy. Case in point: after a crushing game seven loss in the 2010 playoffs while driving home, he helped two stranded Capitals fans change their flat tire. What a guy. After the loss.”

And now I know exactly who Brooks Laich is.