One last piece of nonsense before we get down to business tonight: Microsoft, instead of building a useful version of Windows for desktops, instead published the not-at-all-a-data-mining ploy website, How-Old.net. You find a picture, and its magical algorithm tells you how old the person is.
I put the Capitals in. This thing is terrible. Or is it magical. I don’t know. Everything on the planet is great and awful at the same time.
Check it out.
Tom Wilson is 26. This would have been useful getting into bars before he turned 21 on March 29.
Braden Holtby is 38, and this is why you shouldn’t grow a beard.
Troy Brouwer is 37, and it was at this point I thought maybe this site would go over on everyone’s age, but then…
Brooks Orpik is thirty one-derful. I wish. Year five of the contract would look better were that true.
Evgeny Kuznetsov is 21. That pic might be from when he was 21. Good work, Microsoft. I forgive you for the Zune.
Andre Burakovsky is 19. He just turned 20. Nailed it again, Microsoft. I forgive you for Clippy.
Joel Ward is 37? Over by three years, Microsoft. This is why you screwed up Windows 8..
Marcus Johansson is 36, which is over a decade off. This is not Microsoft’s fault. This, again, is bad facial hair’s fault.
Nick Backstrom is 35. I mean, I know he doesn’t party as hard as the kids, but that’s still not cool.
Alex Ovechkin is 27. That’s a good age to be forever if you ask me.
Will you still need Barry Trotz, will you still feed Barry Trotz, when he’s 64, which is 12 years from now?
I hate you, Microsoft. This is worse than IE6. This shall not stand.
