How was your holiday break? Did you get any good gifts? I got a neat shirt. Please, please, please tell me you washed your RMNB shirt before you put it on. This is serious, man. Promise me.
Tonight the Pittsburgh Penguins host the Capitals at Consol. It’s the first match-up of the season between the two– at 7:30 PM on NBC Sportsnet. It’s gonna be a show.
| Team | Record | Possession | PDO | Power Play | Penalty Kill |
| Washington Capitals | 17-11-6 | 51.2% | 99.8 | 25.0% | 77.4% |
| Pittsburgh Penguins | 22-7-5 | 50.6% | 102.3 | 23.9% | 86.8% |
Projected Lineup
Chimera and Schmidt take a seat. Mike Vogel has the scoop:
Ovechkin – Backstrom – Wilson
Johansson – Kuznetsov – Brouwer
Laich– Fehr – Ward
Beagle – Burakovsky – Latta
Orpik – Carlson
Alzner – Niskanen
Hillen – Green
Holtby
Happy Birthday, Hayley Williams

She is twenty-six today. Monster voice on her. Seriously, she’s an athlete.
Storylines
- The Caps get more shot attempts during 5v5 overall compared to the Penguins, but if you adjust for score the Pens are actually a little better.
- Nate Schmidt and Jason Chimera are scratched– again. Here’s a timely article from Pat Holden on that very topic.
- Here’s your boy Barry Trotz talking about tonight’s matchup.
- The New Jersey Devils have hired Scott Stevens and Adam Oates as co-head coaches. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
- Brooks Orpik on Pittsburgh last season: “There was something not right last year. I guess stale is a good word. Something needed to change.”
- Pens Thomas Greiss and Steve Downie are sick with the mumps. I’m convinced the Pens are gonna be spitting all over the Caps tonight.
- Fedor’s Vrana scouting profile is pretty rad.
- It’s been a hell of a year for Olli Maatta. After mumps, cancer, and injury, he’s close to returning. I think Maatta is pretty great, and I’m glad to see him on the rebound.
- Pittsburgh mall (famous for Dawn of the Dead) shut down by a huge brawl among riotous youths.
- Still laughing about Oates. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Okay, I’ll embed the song– just this once.
Good times.
Sidney Crosby is a Selfish Canadian, Defensive Liability
— RMNB (@rmnb) December 12, 2014
The CDC recommends avoiding work and personal contact for five days when you’ve got the mumps. Crosby knew better and went to practice anyway. That’s selfish. The disease is still ravaging the Pittsburgh locker room. The moment blueliner Olli Maatta was diagnosed, Crosby became a liability to the defense. He’s a defensive liability. I’m super serial.
The second Ovechkin even suspected he had the mumps, he would call in sick, put on sweatpants, and play FIFA. Almost certainly shirtless. You know I’m right about this.
