Technically, this is a dinosaur. You are eating dinosaurs.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends. The Caps lost in OT last night, but there are still a great many awesome things. There is no better time to take stock of all the awesome things in our weird little universe than today.
Let’s change the format today. Let’s throw the ranking out the window and do it like a grocery list. There’s too much awesome for a top five.
- Loser points: That’ll matter in April.
- Alex Ovechkin: Scored two goals in his 700th NHL game–and they were the kind of goals he could still be scoring in his 1400th game.
- Mike Green: When healthy, a top-10 defenseman in the league, I really think so.
- Tom Wilson: The only Caps player to outshoot the Isles last night.
- Braden Holtby: Stayed above a .920 save percentage for the first time in seven games last night. He’s giving the Caps the opportunity to win.
- Matt Niskanen: Filled in capably for Mike Green on the Caps power play on Wednesday. I loved his fake shot before setting up Ovi.
- Brooks Orpik: Good eating habits.
- Nate Schmidt: Pathologically positive. Also pretty good at hockey, as far as I can tell.
- Karl Alzner and John Carlson: They seem like a lot of fun.
- Jason Chimera: His resolute ability to stay in the lineup despite on-ice performance is laudable.
- Jack Hillen: Filling in in a pinch, looked better than he has in two years. Way to be a pro.
- Barry Trotz: Wobbles, but doesn’t fall down. As critical as I am of the coach, I am only so because I think he’s a tremendous human being and a good leader. I’m glad he’s here.
- Eric Fehr: Literally a perfect human being without a single flaw. He should be on all the lines, not just two of them.
- Brooks Laich: Pretty and pretty awesome– just no more rushing back from injury please.
- Jeff Goldblum, laughing for ten hours: Self explanatory.
- Stat sites: War On Ice, HockeyStats.Ca, Natural Stat Trick, Puckalytics, et al. Those guys all busted their butts to make sure the hockey world didn’t suffer a massive brain drain this summer.
- CSN: For replaying last night’s game so I could enjoy it this afternoon.
- Joe Beninati: My favorite play-by-play guy in any sport. His understanding of the craft– when the visual paints the picture and when it needs his elaboration– is master-level.
- Wes Johnson: The single funniest person I know, hands down.
- Adam S. and Adam V. and Ed and Alex and Becca and Rob and JP and Dave and Katie and Ben and Muneeb and Neil and more: Smart and kind and gracious, these guys and the dozens more I didn’t name make the Caps online community probably the best in the league.
- Ian and Chris and Fedor and Igor and Rachel and Amanda and Pat: Never break, precious friends.
- Chris Gordon in particular: Rocked RMNB Rambo-style last night.
- Volatile stats: There will come a time when the Caps won’t be shooting 3 percent during 5v5, and it will be awesome.
- Non-volatile stats: The Caps are awesome in their own end, which is something I’ve never said about this team.
- The eye test: The Caps got outshot by the Isles last night 63 to 40, but that’s not the whole picture. If you look at that game in, say, five-minute chunks, the Caps kept it even for all but maybe 10 minutes. That’s a better effort than they’ve put forth in a week.
- The commenters: Proving the internet’s reputation for discourse wrong everyday.
- The Facebook commenters: I’ll be honest: you scare me.
- Contributors: 706 of you guys shelled out cash so we could keep the lights on. 80% already told me your shirt sizes so we can send them to you in time. Thank you! If you haven’t got an email about your shirt size yet, email us!
- Georgia: For watching every game with me. Sort of.
And you, most of all. It’d be weird if we were just writing all this silly stuff and no one read it. (Actually, that was what the first 18 months of RMNB were like.) Thank you for partying with us and thank you for being Awesome.
