NHL teams have had an extra handful of days to talk to players before free agency officially begins, so some are expecting today to be more bananas than usual. Considering the first day of free agency is traditionally already pretty bananas, I’m not sure I’m ready for the sheer volume of bananas we’re about to see.

Who’s gonna get the most ridiculous contract of the day? I’m gonna say Ryan Miller. Which defender will the Caps take? I’ve got no clue. Who’s gonna make a crazy trade? Probably Hextall.

Follow all the madness below. The comments should be fun. Please go GIF bananas.

• It’s almost noon. Mikhail Grabovski is still technically a Washington Capital and life is good. Not for long.
• Trade! Senators send Jason Spezza to the Stars for Alex Chiasson, Alex Guptill (AHL), and Nick Paul (Juniors).
• It is noon on the east coast. Game on.
• The Canadiens have signed Manny Malhotra. One year, $850k. Great signing.
• Dammit. Pittsburgh got D Christian Ehrhoff. One year, $4M. The Caps apparently weren’t in on him at all. PIT gets all the toys.
• The Oilers have signed D Mark Fayne for 4 years and F Benoit Pouliot for 5 years and $20 M. Five years?!
• The Islanders have signed G Chad Johnson. Could’ve been a good, cheap backup for Holtby. Two years, ~1.3M per. Decent price.
• Milan Michalek extends in Ottawa. Three years, $4 M AAV.
• Adam Vingan reports that the Capitals will sign G Justin Peters. Two years. Just a little under a million per year. Not bad.
• The Blues have signed C Paul Stastny to a four-year deal. $7 M AAV. Daaaaamn.
• The Devils have signed Mike Cammalleri. Five years and five million per.
• Jussi Jokinen is now a Florida Panther. Four years, $4M per.
• D Dan Boyle is off the market. He’ll be in New York, earning $4.5 M AAV for the next two years.
• C David Bolland is now a Florida man. Fans around Toronto exhale. The contract… dear god… the contract.
• Winger Mason Raymond signs with Calgary. Three years, $9.5 M overall.
• The Capitals will sign D Brooks Orpik. That sucks. Five years, $27.5 million. What a mess.
• G Ryan Miller signs with the Vancouver Canucks. Three years, $6M AAV.
• Ales Hemsky joins Spezza in Dallas. Three years, $4M per.
• F Mathieu Perreault to Winnipeg. Three years, three million per. Good payday for the little guy!
• G Jonas Hiller to the Flames. Two years, $4.5 M
• And Vanek to Minny. No big surprise there.
• Talented forward Matt Moulson returns to Buffalo, signing a five-year, $25 M deal.
• Mike Cammalleri just got the same exact deal that Moulson did, signing with the New Jersey Devils.
• Cody McCormick joins Moulson on the Sabres. Three years, $4.5 M.
• The Panthers, desperate to reach the cap floor, have just paid Shawn Thornton actual money to actually play for them: two years, $2.4 M. That’s about $2.4 M too much.
• 33-year-old Martin Havlat has left the Sharks and signed a one-year, $1.5 M deal with the Devils.
• Hahahahaha [sad tears]
• Alex Ovechkin’s old line-mate on Dynamo Moscow, Leo Komarov, is back in the NHL. The super-pest signs a four-year, $11.8 M deal with the Leafs, which is a whole lot of cash for a guy who’s basically a grinder. LOL, Leafs.
• Future hall of famer Jarome Igilna signs with the Colorado Avalanche to a three-year, $16 M contract. The young Avs get some leadership, but for a steep term. Igilna will be 40 when his deal ends.
• Anton Stralman, a possession dynamo, signs with the Tampa Bay Lightning for five years, $20 M. Wait, so let me get this straight: the Caps are paying Orpik $1.5 M more per season? Ugh, I wanna hurl. [Update: Stralman’s numbers have been corrected. It’s not quite that much, but it’s still too much.]
• Jiri Tlusty has re-signed with the Carolina Hurricanes to a one-year, $2.95 M deal. Being on the same line as Alex Semin is clearly just too difficult to walk away from.
• RW Steve Bernier re-upped with the Devils for one year and $600k. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.
• Looks like we’re slowing down… soccer fever?!