Marcus Johansson and Nick Backstrom wore suits and rode bikes on their path to silver. The lasting image of the Olympic games, we’ve decided, won’t be Nick Backstrom looking like a sad Swedish puppy at a press conference; it’ll be he and Mojo looking like toughest and most fashionable dudes ever to ride bikes.
Wear this shirt if you can master the art of being tough, stylish, and dorky as hell all at once.
I can’t stress this enough: the Olympics suuuuuuucked. Ovi had a bad time, Nicky had a bad time, Carlson had a bad time, and Sidney Crosby won gold. The Caps are beat up and defeated right now. KCNB shall be the motto for the foreseeable future– reminding us that the Caps are the Chumbawamba of hockey teams: they get knocked down, they get up again.
Wear this shirt if you’re not giving up. Ever.
Jason Chimera has gone too long without recognition here. The fastest Cap on two skates is on his way to a career-best season, and he deserves a t-shirt darn it. Ice Cheetah is Chimera’s spirit animal– possessing all that speed and ferocity and maybe just a bit more hair than the human version.
Wear this shirt (illustrated by Rachel Cohen) if you wish you were as fast– or as aerodynamic– as Jason Chimera.
RMNB is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.