Right after Casey Wellman scored a humdinger of a goal off some anonymous Bruin’s puffybum during Tuesday’s Baltimore Hockey Classic, a fan threw a crab on the ice. It’s the octopus thing in Detroit… crustacean version!

Yeah, Baltimore’s never gonna get a pro hockey team.

The Capitals went on to lose in the shootout. All three preseason games have gone to the gimmick, which is just upsetting. Also upsetting: conditions at Baltimore Arena, which Alex Ovechkin called “kind of dangerous” and “kind of scary” when speaking to Sky Kerstein of 106.7 The Fan.

The Geneva Convention actually outlawed using preseason shootouts on civilians, but the NHL don’t care.

— RMNB (@russianmachine) September 18, 2013

UPDATE: Master assassin Wes Johnson shared a photo of the crab in question. Old Bay for the win.

Media by Ian Oland.