At noon on Friday, NHL teams can begin signing free agents. This will be the first free agency period under the new collective-bargaining agreement and its diminished salary cap, but if you think that means GMs all of a sudden are going to start behaving rationally, nu-uh. Get ready for some overly long terms and capacious paychecks for players of middling ability. Because it’s summertime, and that’s when we all make decisions we later regret– NHL teams not exempt.

Teams and players have actually been talking since like Wednesday, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re looking at a pretty active afternoon. We’ll be RTing legit news sources from @russianmachine, but you can also follow along here, where I’ll keep a running tally of who goes where– especially anyone of interest to the DC universe.

P.S. Matt Hendricks is gon’ get paid.

• It’s not noon yet. Keep your pants on. Unless you’re taking the day off from work, in which case there’s no good reason to wear pants today. The people at Chipotle will understand.
• Buncha re-signings: Ray Emery is gonna  get paid $1.65 million in Philly. Nabokov is going to make 3.25 for a year on Long Island.
• The Leafs, who are stupid, have let Grabovski go to the open market. He’d be great in Caps red.
• Andrew Ference of the Bruins is headed to Edmonton. 4 years, $3.25M AAV. He’ll be 38 at the end of that deal.
• Former Cap Joey Crabb has signed a two-year, one-way deal with Florida for a cool $600K. Hopefully Sunrise has more Crabb people than DC.
• Long-time Senator Daniel Alfredsson has signed a one-year deal with Detroit for $5.5M and a two-mil bonus. I’m surprised Ottawa let him go.
• Okay, here’s a Sharknado GIF:

• Okay, cool.
• Lots of rumors about Ribeiro to the Coyotes, but nothing official yet.
• Compliance-buyout victim Mike Komisarek formerly of Toronto has signed 1-year, $700k deal with the Carolina Hurricanes.0
• And he is gone. Mike Ribeiro has signed a deal with Phoenix/Arizona/Seattle/whatever. No details on term or payday, but expect a lot over a long time.
• Former Cap and awesome dude Boyd Gordon has inked a three-year deal with the Coyotes  Oilers (corrected, sorry). Great utility player, and affordable ($3M per year). Fancy.
• (Really looking forward to seeing the numbers on Ribeiro’s deal. I have a feeling once we see that, we’ll be glad GMGM didn’t match it.)
• Details on Mike Ribeiro’s deal: 4 years (he’ll be 37 at the end) and 22 million. Good non-signing by McPhee.
• Nathan Horton is headed to division rivals ‘Lumbus for seven years. That’s a loooooong term. Still waiting on $$$.
• NYR’s Ryane Clowe is now a Devil. 5 years, $4.85M AAV. Big payday for a big defection.
• The Penguins have signed Rob Scuderi to four-year deal, $3.375 M per. I have no idea where this money is coming from in Pitt.’
• One-time Cap Scott Hannan has re-signed with San Jose.
• Okay now I’m gonna put in a whole bunch of Drudge Report flashing sirens.

• Awesome. Real classy.
• Tyler Kennedy, formerly of the Penguins, has signed a two-year deal with San Jose.
• Former Cap and HBH leader Keith Aucoin has signed a one-year deal with St Louis for $625K.
• Toronto is reportedly finalizing a deal with Tyler Bozak, whom Bruce Arthur called “lousy” on TSN today. The deal will be for five years at $4.5 per.  Fans are going to go ballistic.
• Mike Ribeiro spoke to TSN, saying Washington “didn’t come close” to what he signed with Coyotes. George McPhee is a smart dude.
• The Toronto Tire Fires have signed David Clarkson to $36.75 million over 7 years. That’s more than five per year. No-move, no-trade clause to boot.
• Stephen Weiss will make $4.9M AAV in Detroit in the next five years.
• The Wagon leaves town: Matt Hendricks has signed with the Smashville Predators. 4 years, $1.85 million per season. Wow. That’s an even bigger payday that I guessed. Congrats, Matt!
• Hour three begins now. The pace of signings dropped off a lot in the last hour. Still no noise from the Caps.
• Valteri Filppula has agreed to a five year deal with Tampa Bay. He’ll make $5M per year.
• Whoa. Here’s a big trade. Ottawa has acquired Bobby Ryan from Anaheim. I’ve been fantasizing about the Caps picking Ryan up. Ottawa gave up Silverberg, Noesen and a first round pick. Have fun with that, Bruce.
• Caps buyout victim Jeff Schultz has signed a one-year, $700K contract with the Los Angeles Kings. He instantly goes from East-coast pariah to a guy on a Cup contender. Good luck, Nasty.

And with that, we conclude this open thread. No action by DC whatsoever, and that is totally fine. McPhee has all summer to make moves, and he’s wise not to overpay like Glendale or self-immolate like Toronto. The team has very specific needs, and this market may not offer good solutions right now. We don’t want Washington to make moves just to look like they’re busy. It’s a long way to October.

Have a good weekend everybody! We’ll have a lot more coverage coming.