Listen: I know the Capitals are a regional team, drawing fans from Maryland and Virginia, in addition to the District. But Piney Orchard and Capital Centre are proof that the team’s roots are deep in the Old Line State. And it’s for fans from the great state of Maryland that we debut this new RMNB shirt.
The Baltimore Orioles are competing for their first playoff run since puberty (ours, maybe not yours), and they’re doing it with help from a 20-year-old from Miami named Manny Machado. He made waves by hitting three home runs in his first thirteen at bats, but his real achievement has been in the field. Taking Cal’s old spot at third base (instead of his preferred position, Cal’s old spot at short stop), Manny has surprised baseball fans with his surprising maturity and defensive savvy.
Consider this move on Wednesday night, wherein Machado tricks Tampa’s Rich Thompson into a trap. Machado palms the ball and fakes a pass, letting Thompson think he should run home. But no. Manny purloins that third out, saving the game in the process. Our pal Daniel Moroz at Camden Crazies called it Jeter-like (we assume this means smart defense, not saying Manny has an overly large and malformed head). A few minutes later, Machado scored the winning run on a Nate McLouth hit.
The Os are still positioning for first the AL East thanks to plays like this, and for the first time in a long time the Baltimore club has a future. We now see a fanbase growing across this great state and beyond. Perniciously they reach into Virginia and the District, usurping the territory of its bewildered Expos fans– and everywhere they go, they declare it MANNYLAND.
Wear this shirt while cheering on your favorite AL east, bird-mascotted team playing their first winning season since the Clinton administration. Tell the world you were there when the Orioles magic was rekindled.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.