Oh dear. It’s the final Machinist of the year. And what a year it has been: Caps won a lot, got first-rounded by the Canadiens, Ovi danced in a nightclub, Belanger got dropped and so did Corvo and the Morrisonnii, Caps lost a lot, Lil Ovi and Lil Backy, and DJ Pauly D. Whew.
Traffic is down 8 percent this week. Some might say it’s because the holiday, but I think you readers aren’t pulling your weight. Ray Shero and Dan Bylsma put you at a 3 for the week.
Must-see post of the week? Definitely Rachel’s Ovi-Santa.
Let’s dance.
Most Read Stories of the Week
- Alex Semin: I Am Not Making Plans for the Future
Igor dialed up some translatory wackiness. Sasha Minor was so distant and non-committal about the future, I thought they were interviewing my long-distance girlfriend from freshman year of college. - Caps beat Canes 3-2, Perreault’s Proboscis Pummeled
Here’s how bad the week was in traffic: you actually read my recap. Standards, people. - Peter’s Review of HBO 24/7 Capitals/Penguins, Week Two
I’m glad people saw this one, ’cause my stupid cracked rib prevented from making another for episode three.
Stories That Have Escaped Your Butter-fingered Grasp
- Evgeny Kuznetsov: On The Ice With A Parachute
Kuz can do 200 sit-ups. How many can you do? - When the Chips are Down, Who Do you Want in Net?
#TeamVarly and #TeamNeuvy enter Thunderdome. In this metaphor, Neil is Tina Turner. - Is Defense The Key To Mathieu Perreault’s Consistency?
MP85, perhaps your 2C, is truly frugal in allowing scoring chances against the Caps. - The Russian Machine Guide to Pittsburgh
Through our extensive research we’ve learned that the only good things about Pennsylvania are Keystone and the Bears. - Capitals Skate Outdoors Before Winter Classic
Chris Gordon pitches in with a report from Chevy Chase, where the Caps had their outdoor practice and Ovi used greasepaint to dance around his Gillette contract.
Game Recaps
- Capitals 3, Hurricanes 2 — Jay Beagle got on the big board first with a stunning no-look, behind-the-back, knick-knack, paddywack shot over Carey Price’s shoulder.
- Capitals 3, Canadiens 0 — Carolina’s “Let’s! Go! Canes!” horn sounds like a molested goose. We’ll take Sam Wolk any day.
Alright, Caps Nation. I’m off to Pittsburgh to pursue my dream of living in 66’s basement. Pancake breakfast on Sunday!
