Columbus head coach and NHL person most likely to self-describe as “deplorable” John Tortorella is in the news today.
First, he completely and instantly rehabilitated his gruff public image through a Q&A session with Kristina Rutherford of Sportsnet. Here’s how the interview ends:
JT This is the last question for you, Kristina. Out of the game, I’m private. So we’re done.
KR We’re done?
JT We’re done.KR All right, well I’ve really enjoyed talking to you.
JT I’m not trying to be rude but I have to catch a plane.
Boom. Problem solved.
Then the consensus greatest coach in the league owned all you effete, latte-swilling, stat-loving nerds.
Here’s Torts, as quoted by Aaron Portzline of the Columbus Dispatch:
I’d rather spend time doing that than listening to this crap about the Corsi and the Fenwick, because those stats do not apply. I don’t care what anybody says in this league, they don’t apply to the game of hockey. The scoring chances for and [against] is what tells you the story of the individual player and your team concept, as far as what’s going on.
A total own, as Pat and Wysh observed.
The good thing about when one discredits Corsi is there's no point in rebuking them. That argument is over,refuse to accept it at your peril
— pfholden.bsky.social (@pfholden) November 7, 2016
Tortorella via @Aportzline: "I'd rather spend time doing that than listening to this crap about the Corsi and the Fenwick"
gee wonder why pic.twitter.com/Kgv11AFAs3
— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) November 7, 2016
But, as I said two years ago in a completely serious article, advanced statistics like Corsi are not here to augment our understanding of hockey, they are here to replace our understanding of hockey.
Where there were once thoughts, there are now Data.
Or, as a major character on a critically acclaimed, prestige TV drama once said, “If you’re not jacked in, you’re not alive.”
Yet, there are still some people like Torts who are afraid of the Corsi revolution. This is because they do not understand it.
So here’s everything you need to know about advanced statistics.
What is Corsi?
Simple. It’s the number of Corsi events for a player.
What is a Corsi event?
Easy. It’s any event that counts towards a player’s Corsi number.
What is Corsi percentage?
It’s the player’s Corsi number, but a percentage, obviously.
What is a good Corsi?
A high one.
What is a bad Corsi?
Whatever Phil Kessel’s is.
When do we not count Corsi?
During blowouts, road games, power plays, penalty kills, overtime, shootout, preseason, playoffs, or whenever it doesn’t confirm our preconceived notions.
Any questions?
