A quick story: The first time I tried to drive a golf ball at TopGolf was at the Wish Upon A Par charity event in 2017. From what I recall, I was chatting with Philipp Grubauer and he suggested I join his group with Matt Niskanen. I was uneasy, as I had never driven a golf ball before, but said ok. How hard could it be? I asked myself. Then I took my first swing. I missed the golf ball by two feet and my momentum almost took me off the platform. It was at that point — my face a dark shade of red — I put the driver back, said my goodbyes, and quit for the rest of eternity…

Which brings me to the Capitals’ Alex Alexeyev and Ilya Samsonov! They’re about as good as I am at TopGolf, but they own their terribleness and wear it like a badge of honor.

Over the weekend, the two Russian goofs took to the popular venue and posted their follies on their Instagram Story. Here’s what you missed.

Video

Alexeyev with the SWINGGGGGG AND A MISS.

Now here’s the Capitals goaltender of the future about to throw his driver into the abyss below.

And now Samsonov with the pop fly, sending the ball inches away from his tee.

These guys are a laugh riot. I can’t wait for them to be in Washington. I hope they never become good at golf.