Last night we were all captivated by Spaghetti Guy, a man slurping up the Italian dish off a square plate behind the Islanders bench. He had a white linen towel resting on his knee, lest he sully his fine blue jeans. Some Caps fans were left wondering if the same level of luxury could be found at Verizon Center. I conducted extensive research Friday morning and found the answer.

“We don’t offer spaghetti at the arena and I don’t believe we currently do in-seat service,” a Capitals spokesman said. “As far as other amenities, the first four rows around the ice have access to the Etihad Airways Lounge and then season ticket holders in general have access to the Acela Club and other hospitality areas.”

So there we have it. Enjoy your Dippin’ Dots, proletariat.