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Baltimore Oriole Adam Jones Attends Tampa Bay Lightning Game, Betrays Us All (Photo)

By Peter Hassett

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March 11, 2014 5:38 pm

adam-jones

“I wanna thank the @tblighting for this pretty sweet honor. Hockey has always been a hidden passion. Now ppl are gonna know my little secret #StayHungry” (from @simplyAJ10’s Instagram)

Up until recently, Baltimore and Washington had shared a sports legacy. Baltimore has always been a Capitals town. After the Colts and before the Ravens, Baltimore rooted for the Red Pandas. After the Senators and before the Nationals, Washington rooted for the Os.

The last fifteen years have shattered the detente, but nothing cuts deeper than this most recent, most foul betrayal by Baltimore’s own Adam Jones.

Down in Florida for spring training, the center fielder for the Baltimore Orioles was a special guest (“Social Captain”) of the Tampa Bay Lightning, a team that– for the record, and I just checked this — is not the Washington Capitals.

Though Jones had attended Caps games as recently as last year, it seems he’s since moved on to warmer climes.

I think I’m gonna be sick. I mean, just look at this mess. It’s tawdry.

Oh, you like hockey? We’ve got one of those up here in the DC/MD/VA too, dude.

He likes nachos, too?! Ovi! Do you see this? He likes nachos! The insults keep coming.

Stop trying to make me like you with that winsome smile and the 33 homers. I’m onto you.

Actually, we say SCOAR. It’s like you don’t even know us.

Ondrej Palat, by the way, had a huge game. Two goals. Not enough to best the ‘Yotes in rego though. The game went to…

The gimmick. Hope you enjoy it, Benedict Arnold. Nothing you c0uld say will make me change my mind abo—

Dammit. Alright, I still love AJ.

Just come back to the Caps. We need you. Also, let’s get that OBP back above .330.

Go Os. (Go Nats too.)

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