It’s a holiday in Caps land. Karl Alzner‘s dog Murphy turns five-years-old today. To celebrate, Karl gave all three of his pups a McDonald’s burger, which means they eat as healthily as Alex Semin.

I can’t actually confirm that Karl gave them the burger. Here’s what probably happened: the dogs escaped the crate, restrained Karl, stole the car keys, designed an intricate device that allows dogs to steer and hit the gas at the same time, and then hit up golden arches drive thru.

Happy Birthday, Murphy. Bark bark bark, bark bark bark.

Photos via @KarlAlzner. You are missing out if you don’t follow him on Twitter.