This is a sort of breaking news. Alex Ovechkin has discovered Vine. His first video is him working out on a tennis court with a trainer and some fancy rubber bands, performing some kind of workout that would destroy a mortal human’s collateral and cruciate ligaments.

Judging by the video quality, the reigning Hart trophy winner filmed this video from someone else’s video. Or maybe he filmed it through through a screen door. Our fake sources tell us he’s somewhere on the planet earth. Somewhere with cars, perhaps.

Is it October yet?