Photo credit: @CapsBN92

This morning, I woke up, checked the NHL standings, and looked thirstily at a bottle of rubbing alcohol. The Washington Capitals are in last place. That’s 30th out of 30. They have fewer points than the Carolina Hurricanes, whose general manager recently said Alex Semin’s “been a very good player for us.” [gutpunch] They have fewer points than the Calgary Flames, despite playing three more games. [sigh] They even have fewer points than the Columbus Blue Jackets, who were the worst team in the league last year by nine points and they don’t have Rick Nash anymore. [tears]

This might explain why #OatesFace returned last night.

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

Someone please say something to cheer me up.