Readers, Mike Green is so awesome, he has won a trophy before the season has even begun. On Tuesday, Cosmopolitan Magazine named the two-time Norris nominee as the sexiest player in all of hockey. Brooks Laich, who recently graced the cover of Shy Magazine, did not make the list. It is possible that Brooks, like Right Said Fred before him, was too sexy for the list.

Green, accepted his figurative award today at Kettler Capitals IcePlex, by looking splendid in his white Capitals jersey, blue snow pants, and…

Photo credit: Ted Starkey

A grizzly lockout beard-thing. No, seriously, you guys, what is that? It’s like the Geico caveman version of Mike Green.

The last time we featured MG52 on RMNB was last month, when he bought drinks for Caps fans at Front Page Arlington. There, to quote my girlfriend, he looked like a “beautiful and clean-shaven man who has perfected the smolder.” Since then: no clue. It’s like all grooming habits have ceased and he’s angling  for a walk-on role on Duck Dynasty.

Oh yeah, the award. Cosmo is a big deal I guess, and they clearly put a lot of energy into this not-at-all-random list of NHL players that inexplicably excludes Henrik Lundqvist. But I wanna know what you guys think: Is Mike Green the hottest man in hockey? Is he even the hottest man on his own team?