John Carlson “Zaching.” (Via Captain America’s Twitter)

This week, the Caps went 0-2-0 against the New York Rangers and the San Jose Sharks. They were outscored 7-6 and used two different goalies while Tomas Vokoun was sick with the flu, recalling Braden Holtby on Monday for his first NHL appearance this season. Sadly, that was all the hockey for the week, and the Caps had three days off so that they could talk about their feelings, bowl with season ticket holders, and get into the “Zaching” trend. Unfortunately, the week ended with Alex Ovechkin and Dennis Wideman getting into it at practice, but nothing heals like winning, so it’s time for the Caps to start doing some of that.

Elsewhere in the NHL, the Flyers acquired Nicklas Grossman and the Sharks acquired Dominic Moore, the Anaheim Ducks are making a serious run for the playoffs, the Preds were confused about whether or not they’ve won the Stanley Cup, Caps ECHL affiliate Stingrays got some attention for a really weird goal, the Red Wings broke the all-time record with 21 straight home wins, and Jaromir Jagr turned 40.

If you’re still wondering the most important question — how does everything in the world relate to the Washington Capitals? — we’ll break it down for you after the jump.

Best of the Week

• Evgeny Kuznetsov does NOT have a future in pop music.
• Peter writes on press during a losing streak.
• A look at the Caps trade options at center. The fanbase seems to be leaning towards Batman.
• Dmitry Orlov wishes you a Happy Valentine’s Day.
• A timeline of Caps goalies giving up goals from center ice. Sob.
• Alex Semin blocked a shot! Really!

Video by @broflacco, editing by @maxduchaine