Fail

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Semyon Varlamov Loses Another Game Seven
varly-fail-game7

Photo: Ron Chenoy

Former Capital Semyon Varlamov had an incredible year for the Colorado Avalanche, taking the Avs from last to first in the standings. He is likely to win the Vezina Trophy in June as the league’s best goaltender.

Unfortunately for Varly, this season — like many in the past — ends with a bitter taste in his mouth. Semyon Varlamov played in another game seven, and Semyon Varlamov in game sevens is not very good.

Against the Wild on Wednesday, Varly played his first game seven in four years — since he put up an .875 save percentage against the Montreal Canadiens. Varly was shaky again against Minnesota, making 30 saves on 35 shots for a .857 save percentage. He gave up the series-winning goal to Nino Niederreiter five minutes into overtime.

Varlamov is 1-for-4 in game sevens in his career with a lifetime .857 save percentage.

There’s only one thing left to do.

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By Ian Oland 5 years ago

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The Montreal Canadiens Tonight in One GIF

Coming into Saturday’s game against the Montreal Canadiens, the Washington Capitals had lost seven straight games. Thankfully, the Habs made the Caps look like the hockey Harlem Globetrotters. The Canadiens allowed Washington to score four goals in the second period. After that fourth goal, the Caps had more tallies than the Habs had shots on net.

Understandbly frustrated, the Candiens’ Brendan Gallagher tried to break his stick at the end of the second stanza. He failed at that too.

Poor Habs.

By Ian Oland 5 years ago

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Team Canada’s Grand Entrance to the World Junior Championships (GIFs)
canada-fail

On Thursday, Canada played its first World Junior Championship against Germany. They beat the tar out of them, 7-2. That was no surprise.

No, the surprise was how much trouble Canada had taking the ice.

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By Ian Oland 5 years ago

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GIFs: Sidney Crosby Makes the Eastern Conference Finals So Much Fun
Carolina Hurricanes v Pittsburgh Penguins, Game One

By Reddit user vucc.

The Pittsburgh Penguins entered the 2013 playoffs as the best team in the East. Hands down. They led the league in goals despite losing ever-vainglorious Sidney Crosby to plastic surgery mid-season. It seemed like a trip to the Stanley Cup Finals would be a cakewalk, even moreso once The Kid returned.

And then.

Marc-Andre Fleury’s first round cognitive flatulence from last year made an (un?)expected return. He was benched after four fecal games against the Islanders. Opting instead for Tomas “I have a really surprising amount of tattoos” Vokoun, the Pens’ rickety ship got rightened long enough to beat the Islanders and the Senators.

But now, against the Bruins in the Eastern Conference Finals, hockey’s golden goose Sidney Crosby has been diagnosed with a virulent case of the Fleuries. Crosby had a bevy of boondoggles in game one, which I’ll document below, including a Sean Avery-esque shove of Tuukka Rask at the end of the second period that in a just world would have resulted in a They Live-style brawl. Then, in game two, on his first shift, Crosby served up a tasty turnover that led to Boston’s first goal. That set the tone for the game, which was the most deliciously pathetic thing we’ve had the privilege to watch in a long time. The Bruins lead the series 2-0, and the Pens — well, they’re in trouble, dude.

Listen. I’ve been taunted by Penguins fans all my life. This is overdue.

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By Ian Oland 6 years ago

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