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Off-Day News Update

Verizon Center is quiet tonight, spared from hockey games and gun fights alike. Despite that, this is in no way a quiet day for the Washington Capitals.

  • As we reported regurgitated last night, David Steckel has signed a three-year extension with the Caps.  We like to see Steck happy, but we are curious of this deal’s provenance.  The left winger is a serious grinder, tallying only 5 points all season, and he’s the only regular player in rotation on the wrong side of the plus/minus ratio (-1).   As always, we defer to the infinite wisdom of GMGM, who will forget more about hockey than we’ll ever learn.
  • Everything I said nice about George McPhee just now?  Forget it.  Tyler Sloan has also signed a contract extension.  Sloan is a swingman, which we think means he is good at neither offense nor defense.  When the Caps had a blueliner meltdown last week (Jurcina traded, Pothier injured, Erskine erskined), Sloan still didn’t play.  Sloan is -2 this season, but that number means very little from such a small sample size.  You gotta think Bruce Boudreau and the Caps management know something about these guys we don’t know.
  • Karl Alzner has been sent back to Hershey.  Does this mean that Sloan will be on a D-pairing on Thursday?
  • Caps prospect John Carlson is the talk of the town today after his OT win against Team America’s Hat in the World Junior Championship.  He showed impressive composure and patience in that breakaway goal, opting to shoot instead of risking a pass (a lesson his future teammates might want to learn!).  Carlson’s play deserves to be on every sports show’s highlight reel this week.
  • Not-captain Brooks Laich was on the Elliot in the Morning radio show on Wednesday morning.  He assures us that everyone still loves Theodore.  We are assured of this.
  • Tarik El-Bashir reports that Jose Theodore will start in goal against the Ottowa Senators tomorrow night (WaPo).   After having warmed the bench for what seems like weeks, Bruce Boudreau says, “We’re going to need Theo to play and we’re going to need Theo to play good. We’re going to need Theo to get his confidence.”  I love BB and his garden-salad-y wisdom, but this is crazy talk.  Sitting the guy in favor of Neuvy the newbie does nothing but rob Jose of confidence.  Although I’m alone on this among the RMNB staff, I think Theodore is a terrific netminder, and he possesses one of the best glove hands in the NHL.  If he’s having a crisis of confidence, the team should show him support.  That means giving him ice time, and — once he’s out there– not feed him to the wolves.  Bottom line: if Tom Poti learns how to clear the puck in the next 20-odd hours, all should be fine.

That’s all the news that fits for tonight.  We’ll be back tomorrow night to chronicle the Caps’ thunderous 6-1 defeat of the Senators, and what we predict will be the team’s first hat trick of the season (by Matt Bradley).  Stay tuned to see if we’re right!

By Peter Hassett 13 years ago

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Wednesday Webhits: The Frost King’s Best Links Of The Week

This week there’s one link in particular that should lead to some debate; whether the Capitals would be better off signing Nicklas Backstrom to a long term contract instead of Alex Semin.

There’s also a bit on one Cap’s under-appreciated skill, which Olympic team has the highest paid players, how to go about building a team, and who the top fighters since the lockout are.

I should note that I don’t think fighting is a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I do find it entertaining (when it’s done well).

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By 13 years ago

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T-Shirt Tuesday Part II: Canada’s Best Defenseman Snubbed T-Shirt + Huge RMNB Contest

We’re going to keep this one short and sweet. The Russian Machine thinks Mike Green is Canada’s Best Defenseman. Team Canada and Steve Yzerman thinks Mike Green isn’t even worth being in their the Top 7. Japers Rink thinks Mike Green was snubbed.

Simply put: Mike Green Doesn’t Get Any Respect. No Norris, No Olympics. What???!??! We here at RMNB are fed up. So with all these hopeless emotions filling our respective souls, we had to take these negatives and turn it into a positive. Thus after 20 hours of non-stop illustrating, sketching, and photoshopping, here is our latest shirt entitled “Canada’s Best Defenseman: Snubbed.” See the Full Size Graphic Below.

We are also Holding a Contest with this t-shirt design Until The Olympic Break: If you purchase this t-shirt and send us a photo of you in it, you go up on the website. No questions asked. If you get the shirt signed by Mike Green with photographic evidence accompanying it, you will enter a drawing (with the others who do so) to win a free t-shirt. If someone does the ultimate and gets Mike Green in this t-shirt with photographic evidence, you get two upper level tickets to an upcoming Caps game and a free t-shirt. And the Grand Prize would go to whoever manages to do so first. So who’s game? Caps Fans, It’s time to protest in style.

And oh yeah, one last thing, screw you Canada. We were going to root for Russia anyways.

Mike Green T-shirt Canada's Best Defenseman Snubbed

By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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C! Caps Beat Habs 4-2
Alex Ovechkin - Captain for the first time against Montreal
CAPTION GOES HERE

The Caps Are Now Undefeated (1-0-0) When Peter Wears His Russian Machine Never Breaks T-Shirt

Tonight The Washington Capitals began the second half of their (championship) season. Coming off a three-game slide, it was imperative that the boys show some aggression tonight. That they did– in a barn-burning 4-2 win over the Montreal Canadiens. The Caps now have a perfect record (1-0-0) while I wear my Russian Machine Never Breaks t-shirt.

Tonight’s game marked Alexander Ovechkin‘s first game as captain. We at the Machine don’t actually understand what this means, but we can say with certitude that the embroidered “C” looks totally bad-ass on his sweater. And while the difference the new captaincy brings to the team cannot yet be quantified, we know the Caps were a Brand New Team tonight. After a glut of lifeless play in the games following former-captain Chris Clark‘s exit, the boys were back in a big way at Verizon Center this evening. And the icing on the cake? Our boy, the controversial Alexander Semin, gets the lion’s share of the credit for the win tonight.

All that and more after the jump!

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By Peter Hassett 13 years ago

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T-Shirt Tuesday Part I: Yes, People Are Actually Buying Our Shirts
A Photo of Savannah Morrissey's Russian Machine T-Shirt

savvymomo5 – http://twitpic.com/wpbtd – @russianmachine my awsome new shirt

The Russian Machine wanted to extend a heartfelt thanks to fan of the blog Savannah Morrissey, or savvymomo5 on Twitter, for being the first of our wild and crazy supporters to actually post photographic evidence of a purchased Russian Machine T-Shirt. Yes, this is nice. No, she didn’t need to spell awesome right. Who needs that extra e anyways?

Well, for those of you who’ve had some cold feet, the Russian Machine Portrait T-Shirt is available in our store for the dirt cheap price of $14.95 and hopefully this will show some of you that you’re getting quality. Remember, in a previous endeavor, the Russian Machine has outfitted hundreds of Orioles fans, an ESPN analyst and sold t-shirts at the Legends Museum by Camden Yards. So he’s been around the block a time or two.

Like always, if you purchase a shirt and provide the Russian Machine with a photo, he will put it up for all to view either on the blog or our facebook fan page.

Later tonight during the Capitals game, we’ll have part 2 of our T-Shirt Tuesday: A New Mike Green Team Canada Protest Shirt. Until then, tata!

By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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Semyon Varlamov On Olympic Glory, Caps Rookie Dinner
Semyon Varlamov

A few days ago, I saw something on Japers Rink that might explain the Caps “lack of legs” lately:

“It seems the Canuck Nation owes a small thank you to the staff at The Loden Hotel in downtown Vancouver. When Russian superstar Alexander Ovechkin was held to just three shots in the Canucks’ 3-2 win over Washington on Dec. 18, it could have had something to do with the fact the Capitals’ rookie party had gone long into the previous night in the penthouse suite of the boutique hotel overlooking Coal Harbour. Some say Ovechkin saw his first sunrise on Canada’s West Coast.” [Vancouver Sun]

Obviously this is all speculation, so who knows if this really happened. Regardless, the Russian Machine gets it. It’s the holiday season for chrissakes. You can’t tell someone that’s gone to an Andrew W.K. concert that there’s something wrong with Partying Hard. Who cares if you have a hockey game the next day? We’re in first. We can take an L or two. You got that whole time-zone thing as a convenient excuse. Nobody will ever know.

Welp, somebody found out. I guess Ovi shooting golf balls through the penthouse window at 7am naked will stir up some attention (made up, don’t believe).

Anyways, we asked friend of the blog Fedor Fedin to brave the Russian Internets and see if he could dig up anything juicy about the Rookie Dinner. Well, he did.

And so, without further ado, here is a Translated Russian interview with Semyon Varlamov dicussing the Olympics, his stellar play before his groin caught on fire and paying his way through the Caps Rookie Dinner. Take it away Fedor:

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By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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Mike Green’s Second Geico Commercial

I’m not sure if I should ask, but if you haven’t gotten enough of the Geico Cavemen – and Lord Knows how could you not – here is Geico’s Second Commercial featuring Canada’s Best Defenseman, Mike Green. If you ask the Russian Machine for his opinion, this commercial is substantially better than the first, only because Mike Green is actually doing what he’s good at: playing hockey and mugging at the camera. No more of that silly “acting.”

So yes, this is a good hockey commercial. Why? Great dramatic lighting. Sweet Trick Shots. And a weird, almost confusing cameo by Head Coach Bruce Boudreau in the final seconds. Geico – you must have made a mistake – because this commercial is a pleasure to watch. As we did last time, let’s vote. How did Greener do? Let us know below:

poll by twiigs.com

By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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Ladies and Gentlemen, The Caps Rap

We at the Machine love dedicated fans who make stuff. Andrew Bowser, Michael Eller, Pedro Gonzalez & Pat Wood have created this fantastic video to bear tribute to what-we-consider-D.C.’s-only-remaining sports team.

Enjoy!

Name-dropping galore and some great cameos by GMGM, Brooks, Matt, Nicky, and Mike! I personally think some time should have been spent discussing Chris Simon and the mortal-freaking-terror he evoked during his couple of seasons with the Caps. Either way, ain’t nothing wrong with trashing the Penguins in verse, especially since they’re currently beating our team 5-3 (in consecutive losses). Congrats to the filmmakers for terrific work.

Happy Monday, Caps fans!

By Peter Hassett 13 years ago

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Getting To Know Capitals Defensive Prospect Dmitri Orlov
Washington Capitals Defensive Prospect Dmitri Orlov.

Washington Capitals Defensive Prospect Dmitri Orlov.

For the elitist few of you who have the NHL Network (the Russian Machine hates you and your fancy Cable options), you’ve had the opportunity to watch the WJC, or the World Junior Hockey Championships. It’s basically an annual event organized by the International Ice Hockey Federation (IIHF) which showcases some of the best under-20 players from around the world.

Our beloved Washington Capitals are lucky enough to have 4 players representing them in the tournament this year. The prestigious list includes awesome 2008 First Round Draft Pick John Carlson (USA), 2008 7th Round Draft Pick and Japers Rink favorite Stefan Della Rovere (Canada), 2009 First Round Pick Marcus Johannson (Sweeden), and this post’s namesake 2009 Second Round Draft Pick Dmitri Orlov.

Despite the fact our dear Ruskies were upset in OT by Switzerland 3-2 in the Quarter-Finals Saturday afternoon and were eliminated, we figured it was as good a time as any to ask our resident Translator & Moscow native Fedor Fedin to dig up some information on the relatively unknown 18 year old Orlov. Here’s what he found out:

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By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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Capitals Fall Hard to Kings 2-1, Lose Third Straight
Mike Green Falls Hard to the ice as Caps lose to Kings 2-1

The Russian Machine doesn’t have much to say about the Capitals 2-1 loss the Los Angeles Kings today. It was crap. In fact, we felt this photo of Mike Green pretty much summed it up.

The Caps once again, came out in the first period with absolutely no push. To that effect, they’ve been out scored 6-0 in their past three first periods and out-shot 35-11. (Thanks Capitals Insider)

We want to take the easy road and say “Man, with Chris Clark and Milan Jurcina gone, this team is in absolute disarray. They’ve lost three straight games.” But you’ve got to look deeper than that. If you go by that logic, then the Hershey Bears are 10-1 in their last 11 because they brought Chris Bourque back . The problem is the secondary scoring for this team has been absolutely nonexistent lately and the team has not been playing a full 60 minutes at their level. The lack of intensity from anyone other than the Young Guns is troubling. And honestly, Jason Chimera seems to still be trying to find himself in Bruce Boudreau’s system.

The Capitals look like they’re a step slow. They’re losing battles. And with this being one of the NHL’s most skilled teams, we figure this is a tall-tale sign of either a team losing its focus or is in general tired. Someone needs to start banging into some bodies and create some space for others.

We hope with two home games on the slate this week, the Caps will bear down and play better in front of their own fans. And The Russian Machine Will Even Offer A Bold Prediction: We will be excited to see who will be named Captain in the coming days (Alex Ovechkin For Kapitan!!!) and receive the instant gratification of refocusing the team after soundly defeating the Montreal Canadiens on Tuesday Night. Okay guys, make it happen!

By Ian Oland 13 years ago

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