By 11 years ago
The Montreal Canadiens have made fools of us all, worshippers of a false idol, suckers swindled by snake oil salesmen. Jaroslav Halak and his Habs bested the Washington Capitals in these conference quarterfinals, and we now stare down the long, lonely hallway of the offseason.
Anger, despair, confusion; I know you’re feeling one of these. I am, too.
But let’s– just for a moment– try to fill the night with humility. The Montreal Canadiens are a wickedly savvy team, and they slayed the dragon tonight. Congratulations to the opponent.
And let us feel gratitude, too. Despite what you think of the last seven games (and you’re not alone), we must stand in admiration of the Capitals’ effort this season. They did the impossible so often, an average game became an aberration. For every high five and every chest bump, the human contact we direly miss tonight, we thank them.
So go shave, my friends. We’ll talk again soon.
The Habs have the Capitals on the ropes after 40 minutes of play. Will the best third period team in the NHL comeback one more time?
10PM Update: No.
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to write here. How could I sum up the anxiety and uncertainty about tonight’s game 7? Will it all end tonight? Will our beards not reach biblical proportions?
We say NO. The Caps have won their last 4 Wednesday games. Tonight shall be no different. The boys in red will prevail, as will our facial hair.
Our beards cannot give up, they cannot surrender. My beard is only a faint glimmer of its full potential. Besides, girls seem to think my beard is cute, and I WILL NOT let that go away. This #beardpact must survive the night, there is no other option. May my razor rust and all my neighbors think I’m a danger to their kids before I have to shave this beard.
#beardpacters, what say you? (more…)
When you love something, you can either:
Since going to jail would make me miss the rest of the NHL Playoffs, let’s go with B.
The Washington Capitals have forgotten how to score. Except for Eric Fehr’s half-forgotten memory of a goal in the third period, the high-scoring Caps were completely impotent in their pathetic 4-1 loss to the Canadiens. You can chalk it up to Jaroslav Halak’s herculean 53-save night, the brownian motion of the Caps’ powerplay, or the ire of hockey gods at my shaving– it doesn’t matter. The Caps were found wanting in every metric.
We usually dedicate the segment of the game recap to highlights, but I can recall none tonight. This game was a 60-minute parade of sadness: the white team buzzing about sending ineffectual lobs at the net for King Kong Halak to swat casually. While the hockey tastemakers may spend the night picking players worthy of scorn, we’re going to cast a wide net. The whole of the Capitals roster failed to play up to level of the Habs.
Boo freaking hoo.
As anchor and reporter for Comcast SportsNet in D.C., Michael Jenkins has brought oodles of personality to sports coverage in the area. With his razor-sharp wit and Billy Madison-esque playfulness, Michael has helped transform CSN Washington into the go-to source for sports wisdom in the tri-state area. And through his man-on-the-street segments, Jenks has become a cultural touchstone.
Michael joined CSN in September 2004 from KVUE-TV in Austin, Texas, and has since won two Capital Region Emmy Awards. He was named the 2008 winner for Best Sports Reporter and also won in 2005 for Best Sports Anchor. And if you have a memory as vivid as ours, you may recall that he grew an awesome playoff beard during the Capitals’ second season last year.
We spoke with Michael via email, asking him about his special perspective on area sports, the epic ascent of the Washington Capitals, and the genesis of his on-air style. And because he couldn’t resist, Michael also dishes on Kate Hudson, Mila Kunis and college French classes. Below the jump, check out our epic interview with Jenks which includes videos of some of our favorite segments he’s done.
If you read our interview with Miss Virginia USA, Samantha Casey, last week, you were made aware that the beautiful blonde was sharing the May Cover of Northern Virginia Magazine with Capitals superstuds Mike Green and Nicklas Backstrom. Well, said cover has finally been released to the public via Northern Virginia Magazine’s Facebook Fan Page and we thought everybody should check it out. What do you guys think?
Also, if you’ve got a few minutes, make sure to check out Behind the Scenes action of the covershoot. It’s worth a look to see Green Life and Backie caked in makeup. One last thing, can someone hook us up with a copy of the magazine? Residing in Baltimore makes getting a hardcopy tough. If you can, shoot me an email.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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