Posts by Ian Oland

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About Ian Oland (@ianoland)
Oland, a 2006 graduate of UMBC's art school, is a co-founder of RMNB and serves as an editor, publisher, and author. During his time with RMNB, he has done features for the Caps' TV show CRL, written a story for the print edition of the Washington Post, and helped first-report the Chelyabinsk meteor in the English language. Oland's favorite blog memories include raising enough money to get reader Ryan Ellis into a NASCAR race with a RMNB sponsored car and holding the Stanley Cup for the first time. Follow Ian: Twitter | Instagram

Capitals Fall Hard to Kings 2-1, Lose Third Straight
Mike Green Falls Hard to the ice as Caps lose to Kings 2-1

The Russian Machine doesn’t have much to say about the Capitals 2-1 loss the Los Angeles Kings today. It was crap. In fact, we felt this photo of Mike Green pretty much summed it up.

The Caps once again, came out in the first period with absolutely no push. To that effect, they’ve been out scored 6-0 in their past three first periods and out-shot 35-11. (Thanks Capitals Insider)

We want to take the easy road and say “Man, with Chris Clark and Milan Jurcina gone, this team is in absolute disarray. They’ve lost three straight games.” But you’ve got to look deeper than that. If you go by that logic, then the Hershey Bears are 10-1 in their last 11 because they brought Chris Bourque back . The problem is the secondary scoring for this team has been absolutely nonexistent lately and the team has not been playing a full 60 minutes at their level. The lack of intensity from anyone other than the Young Guns is troubling. And honestly, Jason Chimera seems to still be trying to find himself in Bruce Boudreau’s system.

The Capitals look like they’re a step slow. They’re losing battles. And with this being one of the NHL’s most skilled teams, we figure this is a tall-tale sign of either a team losing its focus or is in general tired. Someone needs to start banging into some bodies and create some space for others.

We hope with two home games on the slate this week, the Caps will bear down and play better in front of their own fans. And The Russian Machine Will Even Offer A Bold Prediction: We will be excited to see who will be named Captain in the coming days (Alex Ovechkin For Kapitan!!!) and receive the instant gratification of refocusing the team after soundly defeating the Montreal Canadiens on Tuesday Night. Okay guys, make it happen!

By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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The Winter Classic And Mike Green’s Geico Commercial

If you were like me today, you spent your New Year’s the only way you know how, by watching hockey and drinking like you were 18 again. Yes, the NHL’s Third Annual Winter Classic was showcased today by our friends at NBC (we never forget Milbury), this time at Boston’s Legendary Fenway Park. The Philadelphia Flyers (and their fat and overweight dirty cheese-steak eating fans) made the trip up I-95 to play the Boston Bruins in a game for the ages that maybe had 8 good minutes of hockey.

What was the best part of the Winter Classic you ask? Well, beyond James Taylor’s stunning rendition of the National Anthem, it was definitely the debut of two commercials featuring prominent Capitals players. Mike Green made his acting debut and appeared in the Geico Commericial shown above (via gfcaps fan on japers), and Alex Ovechkin, Niklas Backstrom and cleverly edited extras wearing the #52 and #21 were in a Verizon Wireless Commercial shown here. Awesome.

I asked Peter, one of our lead writers, which commericial he liked best:

“The Washington Capitals’ invitation to the Winter Classic might have been lost in the mail, but the boys crashed it anyway. There’s the elegiac Verizon Wireless commercial that most everyone fawned over, but I really prefer Mike Green’s GEICO spot.

See, this commercial has everything I love. For starters, there’s Canada’s best defenseman, Mike Green. Plus those stupid cavemen get that institutional racism played out against them once more. Hijinx! Granted, I think GreenLife52 could benefit from a bit of the Stanislavsky method, but I still love this. NBC says we can’t be on a national hockey game? Listen up, Costas. Money talks.”

But see, I think he – like many other Capitals fans – were just wildly excited to see our players in commercials in general. And yeah, man. That’s sweet. I’m pumped too. We’re finally getting the recognition we deserve. But if you really watch the Geico Commercial and are looking at it from a fresh perspective, you notice that the Mike Green shown in this clip has about as much personality as a bag of potatoes. Okay, okay, I’m being too hard on him. He had as much personality as that creepy stack of money with the googley eyes.

Though, to be fair, his acting was 180 times better than whoever played the Geico Caveman.

But what do you guys think? Was Greener’s first commercial a huge success or a total letdown? Let us know and vote below:

poll by twiigs.com

By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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A Shirtless Brooks Laich, Sergei Fedorov Fights & NBC “Gets It”

Since this weekend brought us so many freakishly weird things, like my mother getting a “Slanket” (a rip off version of the Snuggie) for Christmas, we decided to just put up a few of the awesome things we observed. Prepare yourself.

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By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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An Update on Boyd Gordon From Chocolate Town, USA
Boyd Gordon in his first rehab game with the Bears

Boyd Gordon in his first rehab game with the Bears

Last week the Capitals made an attempt to send Boyd Gordon to Hershey for a rehab stint, but with the blizzard-like conditions on the East Coast, he ended up everywhere else but Hershey.

Here’s the full horror story via Capitals Insider:

Maybe you have a worse travel experience from Snowmaggedon 2009, but I certainly would not have wanted to be in Boyd Gordon’s shoes this past weekend. The Capitals originally wanted him to go to Hershey for a rehab assignment this weekend, but the bad weather forced Gordon, who has played in just one game since Oct. 12 because of a bad back, to go on an adventure straight out of “Plane, Trains and Automobiles.”

He took a car service from Vancouver to Seattle, but nasty weather on the East Coast sent him on flights from Seattle to Atlanta to Orlando to Cincinnati before he finally gave up on the assignment all together and ended up in the D.C. area. Gordon couldn’t skate this morning because his equipment got lost in the shuffle during all the flight changes. The team is hoping his equipment arrives at Kettler by tomorrow and Gordon will return to the ice, but Boudreau said he wasn’t sure if Gordon would go on another rehab assignment this weekend.

So the Capitals tried to send him to Hershey again this weekend, with the Bears playing back to back home games against the Syracuse Crunch and Norfolk Admirals. This time, beyond the terrible rain and fog, Gordon made the trip up to Hershey safely, and because of Reader Kyle, we have photographic evidence that he’s still alive!

Well in his first game in a BEARS sweater since the 2006 Calder Cup playoffs, Gordon finished the game +1 with an assist. And from all accounts, he had a pretty solid game. Here were Kyle’s observations from the game – you know, since he was actually there and everything:

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By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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Capitals Re-sign Alex Semin To One Year Extension

General Manager George McPhee just announced that the Washington Capitals agreed to a one year extension with superstar Left Winger Alex Semin. Terms of the deal have not been disclosed. Per Tarik El Bashir’s Blog:

Winger Alexander Semin has agreed to a one-year contract extension, GM George McPhee confirmed to me moments ago. Semin, who is in the final year of a two-year contract, would have become a restricted free agent July 1.

He will become an unrestricted free agent after the extension expires in 2011.

Does this setup an opportunity for the Capitals to actually resign Semin to a long-term deal next year? The Russian Machine thinks so. Remember, the Capitals still need to have the flexibility to handle Michael Nylander and his cap hit on the roster next year if something unforeseen happens, and this 1 year contract essentially buys them time.

Plus, it further allows the team to make sure this is an investment it wants to make. And with someone as enigmatic as Semin, this is smart. We applaud GMGM. Now let’s get Nicklas Backstrom signed to a 15 year deal!!

Update: It is a one year 6 million dollar deal and George McPhee said that Semin preferred the one year pact. McPhee also said that he’s trying to keep the team together and is interested in locking him up long term. Also, interesting perspectives: Puck Daddy Editor Greg Wyshynski and Capitals Beat Writer/Translator Dmitry Chesnokov say the Capitals have a two year window to win the Stanley Cup. Reading into their answers it makes me feel like a KHL Russian Team may make a serious run at Semin to get him to return to his native country once he’s a free agent next year.

By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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Alex Ovechkin Addresses Olympics & Kovalchuk-to-DC Rumors

Here is an interview between Dmitri Chesnokov and Alex Ovechkin that was published today on Sovetsky Sport’s Website and translated by Fedor Fedin. In this article, Alex Ovechkin addresses the Olympics, the Kovalchuk-to-DC rumors and his plans for the New Year. Take a look below. It’s a great read!

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By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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My Best Christmas Present? An Autographed Copy of “Gabby”
Bruce Boudreau Book Signing
Book cover art courtesy Potomac Books, Inc.

Book cover art courtesy Potomac Books

Look I might be an intellectual, but I’m not much of a reader. Hence why when I go over to Redskins Insider for my daily visit, I generally get bored after the 6th straight paragraph about how much Carlos Rogers sucks. I just can’t help it, you know? I guess it’s ADD.

But there are some things that I will force myself to sit down and read. And one of them is the new book written by both Tim Leone and Capitals Head Coach Bruce Boudreau called “Gabby: Confessions of a Hockey Lifer.”

Over the summer, our friends at Japers Rink pretty much sold us on the book after the first teaser. But then JP shared with us 4 more (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5) , and we pretty much wanted to drive to the nearest Barnes and Noble and rip through all the bookshelves until we found it. But alas, the book wasn’t going to be released until the upcoming October, so I decided to play the waiting game and just get it then.

Well months passed by, and I tried to keep the book in the back of my mind, but I kinda just forgot about it. Well, that is until our other friends at On Frozen Blog mentioned that Bruce Boudreau was having a book signing on December 21st after practice at Kettler.

Oh, if I didn’t work in Columbia, I could just drop on by during lunch!! But taking a 3.5 hr lunch break wasn’t going to fly especially with having to have 6 websites done by the end of the year. Sigh.

Well, a few days ago, I posed a question to my Twitter Followers. I asked them “What’s the Best Thing About Caps Fans?” And here are some of the responses:

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By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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Kaitlyn’s Capital Drawings
Beautiful Nicklas Backstrom Color Pencil Drawing By Kaitlyn

Beautiful Nicklas Backstrom Color Pencil Drawing By Kaitlyn

Other than Nicklas Backstrom’s terrible attempt at a water-color painting, we here at Russian Machine Never Breaks LOVE, LOVE, LOVE artwork. And so that’s why we love high schooler and avid hockey player Kaitlyn(Please follow her on Twitter).

After seeing one of her beautiful color-penciled masterpieces of the aforementioned Backstrom (shown to the right), the Russian Machine put in a special request for an Alex Ovechking drawing. And Kaitlyn sweetly obliged…

But the project was not without its own setbacks – as all artists can attest to. She even managed to put us through a whole gamut of emotions during the process (like only a high school girl could) as she updated her progress on Twitter:

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By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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A Capitals Christmas
Merry Christmas from Terry Dobbins, Mike Green and the 7 Raccoons That Perished to Make That Hat

Merry Christmas from Terry Dobbins, Mike Green and the 7 Raccoons That Perished to Make That Hat

Merry Christmas Eve from everyone here at Russian Machine Never Breaks! As our writers disperse across the state to spend time with their respective families, we wanted to thank you for welcoming us into the Capitals Diaspora with open arms and giving us a chance to entertain you for the last two weeks.

To give back, tomorrow on Christmas Day, we wanted to release to you some true stories and artwork that warmed our cold, Russian hearts and made us believe that the Christmas spirit of giving is still alive and well.

While we are away chugging alcoholic eggnog, dropping our mitts and fighting our in-laws, we wanted you to get on Twitter and let the Russian Machine know, what’s the best thing about Caps Fans? ie: @russianmachine The Best Thing About #Caps Fans is… [your answer]

We’ll post some of the best answers tomorrow! Take care and have a Merry Christmas!

By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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T-Shirt Tuesday – The Official Russian Machine Portrait T-Shirt
Russian Machine Never Breaks Portrait T-Shirt

Russian Machine Never Breaks Portrait T-Shirt

Welcome all to another T-Shirt Tuesday. Exciting right?

For our second shirt, we’ve put our official portrait of the Russian Machine on a red tee. It’s available in Men, Women and Kids sizes for $13.95. Once the first week passes, we will up the prices of the shirt for it’s standard price of $14.95. So if you dig it, makes sense to buy now. So why don’t you visit our shop and take a look around.

We’ll be providing coupon codes for our shirts on our Facebook Fan Page and our Twitter Account periodically. So make sure you join, so you can be in the know.

Anyways, let us know what you think. And if you have any special requests, shoot us an email and we’ll consider. Happy shopping!

By Ian Oland 14 years ago

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