There was once this struggling midwest rock band who were notorious for being kind of a mess. Some nights they’d be too wasted to play; other nights they’d play legendary shows that people still rave about to this day. Born losers but sometimes brilliant. So they’d get a precious handful of opportunities to make it big — get real mainstream success, but then they’d stomp on a rake. They would drop an F-bomb on national TV, or they’d drunkenly play a bunch of country covers instead of their real set, or they’d name their breakthrough album something stupid like Tim. They could not stop sabotaging themselves, but they were so talented and sensitive that you could not help but love them.

The Washington Capitals played tonight.

They went down a goal early, but somehow summoned three goals of their own in response, regaining control of the game. But then they blew it with some unfortunate penalties and blown coverage, losing the lead and their confidence for a moment. That’s when their leader Alex Ovechkin scored all by his damn self. TJ Oshie got a hat trick, but then Ottawa’s young stud Drake Batherson notched a hat trick of his own to humble the Caps. But Ovechkin doesn’t do humble. He scored his prettiest goal of the year to make it 7-5. That was the final.

Caps win. Hahaha. 

• With two goals in the first period and another late in the second, TJ Oshie scored his sixth career hat trick. A fan threw a bra onto the ice in celebration. Oshie split up with Conor Sheary tonight, skating instead with Anthony Mantha and Connor McMichael. They were Washington’s best line by a lot. I mean — you don’t throw expensive lingerie on the ice for a sub-50 percent corsi and a negative on-ice goal differential. Obviously.
• In front of his family, Connor McMichael recorded his first NHL point with a secondary assist on Oshie’s second goal. His second point came as the primary on Oshie’s hat-trick goal.
• The Sens are young, fast, and still not very good. The Caps controlled this game, but they were vulnerable at critical times, such as when TJ Oshie got skated into and busted for interference. But I don’t want to diminish the Sens’ pretty goals, especially that second one from Batherson, who also had a hat trick.

• That style of scoring talent made this a pretty difficult game for Ilya Samsonov, who did not exactly rise to the occasion, but if I say anything harsh you’ll all call me a VV partisan, which I definitely am, but I’m trying to be chill about it, so don’t blow up my spot. Rough night for Samsonov, but he’ll settle down.
• Ottawa goalie Filip Gustavsson became the 149th goalie to get scored on by Alex Ovechkin, who recorded his 736th and 737th.
• Tom Wilson and Brady Tkachuk were both dismissed from the game a few minutes for not living up to the behavioral standards set by the Sports Man. Tom Wilson leads the Caps in assists and hasn’t gotten in a fight yet.
• I get that COVID makes travel impractical right now, but it’s never quite the same with the TV crew doing their work remotely. The timing is just off enough to drop into the uncanny valley. Meanwhile, Al Koken is a consummate professional and filled in ably for Joe Beninati, who we hear is a bit under the weather.

a big GET WELL SOON to @JoeBpXp in tonight’s #joebsuitofthenight featuring @RealSmokinAl pic.twitter.com/fd7dVHo71J

— Good Tweet Pete 🌮 (@peterhassett) October 25, 2021

I want to salute everyone who knew where this game was heading early on. Everyone knows that this team is capable of marvelous things, and everyone knows that they can make a huge mess, but only you sagacious superfans knew that they can and will do both at the same time.

What a beautiful mess. What a stupid team. I love them.

Headline photo: NBC Sports Washington