Photo: Patrick McDermott

I was trying to come up with the most elegant way to introduce the RMNB season review for Alex Ovechkin, but all I came up with is this:

OVI BESSSSTTTTT

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA))))))))))

By the Numbers

Ovechkin’s on-ice shot-attempt percentage in 10-game running segments, according to War on Ice:

Peter’s Take

Alex Ovechkin scored 53 goals. Let’s start there. That’s incredible. That’s more than most models and pundits predicted he’d score. (I guessed 50, VUKOTA had him at 45, Ian had him at like 215 but I like Ian’s style.)

So, yeah: good season. Wait, scratch that. Gr8 season. And goals are just one piece of it. Ovechkin had his best 5v5 possession season since 2009-10, his best defensive season since the same, and his best power-play season since everrrrrr. He scored five goals and recorded four assists in 14 playoff games, he recorded 11 game-winning goals– tying his personal best for the third time, and put himself in a strong position to compete for the Hart in addition to already winning the Richard.

Reminder: he scored 53 goals. That’s ten more than Steven Stamkos in second place.

We published stories to cover every single Alex Ovechkin goal. You can relive them all right now.

Also this season, Alex Ovechkin became the franchise leader in goals, points, and game-winning goals. La dee da.

Any attempt to comprehensively attribute Ovi’s success has to be a little simplistic. There’s just too many factors involved. Among them: getting rid of Oates, his inhuman durability, having a stable and healthy center in Nick Backstrom, reversion of last season’s crummy linemate luck, and that lethal Capitals power play. There’s surely more, including the elimination of so-called “glide” from Ovi’s game, but basically credit belongs to a lot of people, especially the player himself. Getting rid of a bad coach and bad linemates and bad luck is fine and dandy, but for the world’s best scorer to remain such at the verge of his thirtieth birthday is amazing on an individual level and worthy of celebration.

To get real, age will become an increasing factor in the future. This is not an elevator that only goes up. Ovi’s smash-em-up style might not be viable when his freakish physique stops being quite so invincible. But the last two years have shown us that Alex can play a more dynamic game. It’s not just quick face-off goals and driving into the offensive zone, cutting to the middle, then using the D as a screen anymore. Ovi’s ability to pick his spots and his cherries could keep him near the top of the league for the next couple years at least. Those skills age well. Plus, if you ask me, the Caps could and should get more power-play opportunities than they did this season, giving Ovi more chances to be the most dangerous player in the world– assuming the team can activate him even if Mike Green leaves.

I’m not sure how to summarize this. I don’t know how to articulate the scope of this accomplishment. I spent my first year at RMNB documenting Ovi’s dominance, and then it stopped. We spent the next few years bemoaning the decline– even as Ovi continued to win Richard and Hart trophies– because we knew he wasn’t playing at his best. I’m not sure we can say that anymore.

The Washington Capitals finally got out of his way and Let Ovi Be Ovi. What’s next?

P.S. Alex Ovechkin scored 53 goals.

The Destroyer on RMNB

Um. We covered the hell out of Ovi again.

• We begin at the end– with Alex Ovechkin‘s huge goal in game seven of the second round. He hit a lull in the middle of that series, but Ovi had a terrific playoffs overall. He had some brilliant goals that made your jaw hit the floor, some impassioned celebrations, a threat to steal property, one polite bump into Luongo, and one unfortunate taunt of Henrik Lundqvist.

• Best Ovi quote: “My man!”
• Best quote about Ovi, via Troy Brouwer: “The one thing I would love the hockey world to know about Alex is that he has the worst style ever. He only has a few suits and he wears a tuxedo shirt with one of his suits.”
• Wait. I want to revise the best Ovi quote. It’s actually “I love to celebration, I love to goals.” I want to get that translated into Traditional Chinese and get it tattooed on my lower back.
• Dumbest hockey pundit conversation of the year comes by way of PJ Stock and John Shannon, to which poor Jeff Marek was a helpless bystander. “I find his game very predictable,” Stock said, presumably while pointing to a sticky note that read ovi 53 goals, 2014-15.  Then Shannon shoveled this shit: “[Stamkos] talks about team first. It’s always, ‘we did this.’ …When Ovechkin talks, it’s ‘I did this.’” You know what– just read that story and bask in the naked, ignorant wrongness of hockey’s pundit class. Some of my favorite me-writing this season.
• Meanwhile, we actually agreed with Mike Milbury once.
• Ovi > Buffalo. Not just the team, the entire city, the Goo Goo Dolls, and the over-hunted megafauna.

• The goal scoring was only part of Ovi’s game. He stuck up for his teammates (awesome), he blocked shots (please don’t), he tried to corral a puck using his throat (nooooooo), he basically murdered Kevin Klein, he knew when to retaliate and when to play it cool as hahahaha ice))). In short: he’s invincible.
• Ovi with famous people, part 1: Tiesto.

• Ovi with famous people, Part II: Brad.

• Ovi with famous people, part III: Messi.

• Ovi with famous horses, part IV: this horse. (it’s old, but still.)

• Ovi with famous people, part V: Bobby Orr.

• Ovi with famous elephants, part VI: these two elephants.

• Ovi with famous pups, part VII: this pup.

• Butts.
• For the last few years, Ovechkin’s promotional deal with Gilette mandated that he keep clean-shaven during the season. That ended on January 1, and now he’s a scraggly bro.
• I don’t know how they did it, but the Apple/Beats by Dre promotion by Ovechkin at the Winter Classic was genius, devious marketing.
• Finally, and this is important: this is not how you wear a hat.

Alex Ovechkin’s Goodwill Tour

We can debate which of these things were manufactured and which were genuine, but I think it’s safe to say Ovi’s humanitarian streak itself is sincere. Here we go:

• Gave game-used sticks to the Crazy Eights at their final game
• Hosted and participated in private skate with a youth hockey team from Fort Dupont
• Visited injured Caps fan Bensten Schone at home
• Gave signed jersey to fans who lost their home to a fire
• Met with a young Russian fan who won a Bauer contest
• Granted the wish of Caps fan in March
• Donated 70 bags of hockey equipment to Moscow orphanages
• Gave a car to Ann Schaab and the Washington Ice Dogs
• Took Ann for a date
• Gave away gear to fans after all-star skills competition
• Made one tiny fan’s lifetime after being named second star of the game
• After failing to give a little girl a stick during warmups, found her afterwards and, dang it, you know he gave her the stick
• Took Andre Burakovsky to Miami for Christmas break, and yes, this counts, he would have been lonely
• After scoring maybe his best goal of the year, gave away the stick that made it happen to a young Caps fan
• Snowed a Wish kid during warmups in December
• Set up Lauren Santora for a highlight-reel goal on Braden Holtby at practice
• Funded seven orphanages in Russia, did not want anyone to know
• Gave a stick to a young cancer survivor after a ceremonial faceoff

Your Turn

Alex Ovechkin turns 30 this summer. How will his game change in the next decade? How long can he keep fend off Stamkos from the top of the goal-scorers list? When will he loose his spot on the first line and become a specialty player?

Or, if you don’t wanna be a total downer, let’s just talk about how awesome Ovi was this season.

Read more: Japers Rink