Anna Kournikova... in 3D. Yummy.

If you needed further proof that the apocalypse is indeed near, then check out the newest Maxim! In their October issue, not only can you marvel at Anna Kournikova and her wondrous curves in 3D, you can also read up on Caps Superfan Goat!

For those who have no idea who he is (how did you find our blog?), here’s the jumbotron video the Caps produced of him a few years ago:

Below the jump, we’ve transcribed the article he’s been featured in and included a scan of the page. You know, for the people who would never buy this kinda smut in a million years (Dan Steinberg).

Bob Gertenrich hasn’t skipped a Blackhawks home game in 44 years. The Green Men in Vancouver wear full-body spandex suits to every game and taunt opposing players. And in D.C. there’s 35-year-old William Stillwell, a.k.a. Goat, a man so damn loud the Caps made him a Jumbotron fixture to amp up the crowd.

What happens to you at Caps games?
It’s like an alter ego. As soon as I take my seat, there’s a massive adrenaline boost. I got a little upset once and broke the railing next to my seat.

How loud are you?
Last year a reporter asked about me, and Brooks [Laich] said, “Oh, yeah, we can hear that guy on the bench.”

Have you always been loud?
I grew up watching Redskins games with my dad, and the joke in the neighborhood was that no one needed TV – they could just open their windows and tell how the game was going.

Special thanks to Stevie K. for doing the uhhhh, dirty work? and purchasing the magazine. He assures us that “[he] does not get maxim willingly and [he] do not read it.” Liar.